


Smile

by LevisJam



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 16:51:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9246464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LevisJam/pseuds/LevisJam
Summary: ~As Yoosung wavers on edge, it's left to Luciel to save him from death~





	

**Author's Note:**

> ~Goood morning lol it's like 11 and i just woke up~I don't write fabulous suicide scenes, but here~I swear I'm not suicidal lolol lemme at least finish highschool~

I have no fear of death. Only a fear of trying. It was like a hole in my chest, this empty feeling. Death would cure it, yet I was scared to try.   
I wavered here on the edge of a rocky cliff, with the ocean approximately 40 feet below, just taunting me with it’s crashing waves, begging me to leap and end my own life. Millions of reasons as to why I should not swam through my head, yet billions as to why I should seemed to have grabbed ahold of me, and dragged me to the very edge of the rocks. Barefoot, the salty breeze, the sound of the ocean, a pink sunset, and the infinite sea before me, why am I not pleased by this beauty? Because I stand here with tear-streaked cheeks, dull and dead eyes, without an ounce of life or will to go on. I wanted to be beautiful and happy like the ocean, sparkling even during the storms. It was like I was standing before a painting, about to jump and become one with it. To become part of a better life, to be reborn into a new me, it almost sounded impossible. I would just die here today, peacefully passing knowing that I’d see Rika on the other side. She was all I had, she was everything and more. My best friend, the only one that ever cared about me. I’ve wanted to die since the day we were forced to part ways, she was stolen by V and cast aside to death. Without her, I’ve been nothing. Just an empty shell of who I once was, who I will never be again. I’m worthless, I’m stupid, I’m annoying, I’ll never be good enough for anything. Only the sweet release of death wished to set me free..  
I gazed at the roaring waters below. All I had to do was jump. Easy, right? Just one step and I would be free, free at last. One step. Only one step. And I would be free. I closed my eyes, to conceal my lurking fear of heights. I took half a step closer. I’m right there. All I had to do was close my eyes and let gravity take me down. My life begin to flash before my eyes, it was almost enough to knock me down. My happy memories of Rika and the RFA.. the memories after her death, instantly froze my heart. I remember the night she killed herself, I had ran away. I remember Luciel.. oh Luciel.. he had screamed for me to come back. I darted into the middle of a busy street, he screamed for me to stop, I remember his scream so well I can practicality hear it, his voice screaming my name.  
“YOOSUNG NO!!!” a voice shrieked. Oh my god it was Luciel, I had about three seconds to jump. In the heat of the moment, the fear in my heart dissipated, and.. I jumped. I was too late though. He grabbed the back of my jacket and pulled me into his arms. I fought back half-heartedly, weakly struggling to escape his embrace. I was so damn close, now I would never be free. I burst into tears.  
“Yoosung oh my god I was almost too late to save you, you would have died and oh my god I haven’t even told you how I feel why would you try to even kill yourself?!?!” he sobbed, holding me as if I was his lifeline.  
“LET ME DIE!!” I screamed, trying to pry him away.   
“Yoosung please calm down!! Please just take a breath and calm down, think about what you were just doing!” he pleaded with me, his voice thick with pain.  
“L-Luciel.. just let me die..” I whimpered, finally giving up. He didn’t lessen his grip on me as he lifted me into his arms, carrying me away from the edge, away from my one chance to be free.  
“I would never in a million years let you die.” He replied swiftly. “Just take a deep breath and relax, just breath..”   
Tearstained me was dragged down back to shore, crying into my saviors shoulder. I couldn’t believe he managed to save me from my near-death experience. I was ready to die, I didn’t care about the consequences, I wanted to die.  
“It’s all gonna be ok, just relax, close your eyes, know it’ll be ok..” he whispered, hugging me close yet gently. I continued to cry my eyes out, too weak to try and run back up to the edge. I could hardly even think straight, fighting a migraine from all the crying.   
“I c-can’t g-go on.. I w-wanna d-die!!” I sobbed, wrapping my thin arms around Luciel.  
“You don’t want to die.. I can see that your upset because of something, your just depressed.. You don’t want to die. Rika loves you very much, but she doesn’t want to see you just yet. I-I.. I don’t want you to die Yoosung!” he said, fighting back his tears.  
“W-why do y-you even c-care? Let me d-die!!” I cried, muffled by his jacket.  
“Because I care about you, Yoosung! What kind of person would watch the one they care about most just deteriorate?!” he said, a blush reddening his face.  
“But why? I’m such a waste of space! I’m so useless and just horrible!  
He looked at me with a completely shocked expression.  
“You are NOT a waste of space!! Don’t ever think that!!”  
“Why.. What do I possible mean to you?!?!”  
He blushed beet red, and hung his head.  
“I love you Yoosung.. I don’t want you to be sad, it hurts me to see you cry. I love everything about you.. Your eyes, your smile, everything.. all of your flaws, all your mistakes.. I love you so much.. How can you possibly not see what I see?”   
I leaped from his arms, shocked. I had no idea he actually cared.. I didn’t know he was gay.. Else I would have made him mine before you could shoot seven different shades of blue. I just stood before him like a dumbass, bawling my eyes out. He placed a gentle hand on my cheek, tears welling in his own eyes.   
“Please don’t ever try to kill yourself again.. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you actually died. I want you to be happy again.. I want to help you smile.”

~3 years later cause why not~

“Your so damn cute, you know that? I don’t want you to ever have to leave my sight, a second without you is a second wasted.” Luciel laughed, holding my hand as we walked along the beach. The beach I had tried to kill myself at. It was time to rewrite my story here, and give it an even happier ending.  
I kicked at the waves, sending a spray of water at my boyfriend.   
“Gah! You’ll pay!” He shouted, and we took off running down the shore, each step sending up plumes of loose, pink sand.   
I haven’t smiled and laughed like this in forever it felt like, I just loved every second of my life, I would have missed out on so much. Looking back, I can’t even believe that I tried to end my life. I wouldn’t have the most amazing boyfriend, the best friends, and such limitless joy. I just couldn’t ever stop smiling now, it seemed.  
“Babe!” I squealed as he caught up to me, sweeping me off my feet. Jeez he was so beautiful.. his red hair contrasting with the sunset, his golden eyes and colgate smile.   
“Gotcha!” he said triumphantly, setting me down.   
I laughed, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and leaned into a kiss. No matter how many times he’d kissed me, I couldn’t ever help but blush. He ran his fingers through my hair, and pulled me closer, putting an arm around my waist.   
This was such a cheesy ending, kissing on the beach at sunset, you might as well picture dolphins splashing in the background and reggae playing in the distance. Nonetheless, it was perfect. Absolutely and truly perfect. How does one go to clinging on for dear life, to embracing a budding relationship? It’s unrealistic, but it’s a mishap powerful enough to decide your fate. 

I love you Luciel.


End file.
